Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters


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Books by Tim Marquitz

Deicy: I got it! He's actually just Freddy Krueger on a drunken bender. How the fuck- Deicy: Listen it's October, I gotta spike my candy! Chazz: Sweet. Drunk Prelude. Chazz: Walking bug or- Guh. She's not wrong, it's weird how what could only be a few dozen bugs in each of his arms could lift up a full grown man like him. However with his size and unrealistic strength he can also pull off a tackle. Deicy: And I guess he must be made of some really good bugs cause I'm pretty sure a good few of em would be dead if he just body slammed someone. Chazz: He's also fuckin fast too, again how I have no fucking clue since there's gotta be even less bugs in his tiny ass legs.

That's a lot of bug brains for one nightmare spawn. Chazz: Yyyyup, Oogie's a smart bastard. What pronouns should I be using here? Deicy: Well we know these bugs can have an erection. I mean did you see how he reacted to that zombie girls sultry leg? Chazz: Well Intelligence and. Deicy: Beetle Warlocks! Chazz: How much beer candy have you had? Deicy: What the fuck is that vacuum breath.

Are the bugs inside him a collective of house cleaners? Chazz: Answer the question. Deicy: Fack you. This man bug bag thing can also fuse with his house to become a fucking death giant!


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That makes heartless! Chazz: Grr, he also has the ability to summon up even more bugs with his control of them, they bring with them enough trash and mass to turn Oogie into an absolute giant. He can make all kinds of wacky shit happen. Like effecting his roulette board in certain ways. Or also they can be just bombs. Chazz: I don't know why, but the fact that he owns a horse whip disturbs me. Deicy: What? Halloween can be sexy too. Chazz: NO. He's built this whole giant death trap that doubles as a Roulette Board, and a very, very shit kitchen. Chazz: Can't make a Souffle on a spinnin wheel of death, but if you can record it and gloat on Youtube.

Deicy: Fuckin do it. Make that Souffle, mmf. Chazz: What the hell goes through your mind? Cool right? Deicy: Are we gonna get sued? Chazz: I hope not. Deicy: But aside from lil kids, Oogie's got his immense army of insects. They come in all varieties, different powers, weapons, etc! He's even got boss bugs like Mothra! Chazz: It ain't Mothra. Deicy: You have no heart for dreams! Just like the heartless! See what I did there? Chazz: Absolutely go fuck yourself and your beer candy.

Yes, Oogie can summon the Heartless, evil little creatures of all shapes and sizes with abilities of their own. His strongest is the Cage Heartless, however that's a beast under the command of the aforementioned kids. Cause's he's got that arrogant attitude to him, and he relies a lot on minions and shit for combat, and his obession with a good gamble can fuck him over in some cases.

Just start slicing his threading and shit and he'll be done in seconds! Deicy: His minions are also kinda frail in some cases, like the skeletons he and the kids can summon, or the kids who're children that can be easily used as footballs with their small size. Chazz: I didn't need child football in my head you bitch. Deicy: Well now you do. And you always will. Boogie is a big baddie and is a scarrrrrry. I need more candy. Chazz: God dammit. Chazz: Less crazy, more really pissed off.

B'sides I think everyone in TF2 is some kind of crazy. Deicy: Naaaah, Spy's pretty well off i think. This kinda physcality was not what I expected. Deicy: I mean c'mon, still kinda scales with rocket boy Scout any stuff mannn -hiccup- So chill. Chazz: How drunk are you right now? Aha yeah I popped a few of those beer candies. He's capable of summoning shit like Ghosts, Skeletons, and a giant fucking Eye. Deicy: Hey it's Triple H! Chazz: We signed a contract to never make that joke you bitch. Deicy: Drunk Deicy didn't sign shit! We talked about Triple H before and he's fuckin cool with his pumpkin head.

Does he have a pumpkin penis? Chazz: I mean he seems like a sexually repressed pumpkin murderer. Like teleporting, hiding, fuckin meteors! Chazz: He can even harness the elements, such as Fire, lightning, and Bats. You heard me. Ya didn't know that Bat's were one of the core elements of nature? Does it have a mouth and can it be fucked? Chazz: Noooo ya fuckin bitch. It makes explosives and shit, and turns peoples heads into bombs and stuff. Deicy: He can also shoot bombs -hic- outta his staff! So don't use Merasmus' staff as a dildo, ever, unless you're into that shit. Chazz: Weirdo. Pauling dressed as a police officer -Has lived for six thousand years, and his only regret is agreeing for Soldier to be his roommate -Often mistaken for a woman -Is in trouble with two mafias -A bit overreliant on his spells - lacks physical feats Deicy: He is one ugly lady Chazz: I don't think he's a lady.

Deicy: Bullshit he's a lady. A lady who's probably gonna get thrown in the ocean with concrete high heels because he's pissed off two mafia groups. I think one of em was russian. Chazz: Ehh, mafia cann't be as bad as the group of crazy mercenaries -hic- with a bunch of guns and shit. He can't take all that gun with his physically weak body, he needs his spells. Deicy: Harry Potter!

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Chazz: Whuh? Deicy: Cause magic y'know? Finally got this gun!

Here's hoping I can have the fight done by Halloween Night! Add a Comment:. Load All Images. I'm gonna say Ooogie holds the edge in Physicality for the most part, but that's, not the biggest factor. With all their abilities, summons, and shit, I have no clue who's gonna take this. Most of Oogie's minions die in one hit. And bombs can fuck up many of Oogie's stronger gear. Kiryu Featured By Owner Oct 1, Merasmus has more hax with the Wheel of Fate, but its effects are entirely random and out of control, so its usefulness is limited.

Honestly gotta side with Oogie here, as he's tough enough to take whatever Merasmus could throw at him long enough to outlast him, and his transformations seem powerful enough to take out Merasmus. Prev Next. Pepsi: Finally fucking done thank fucking god, I need a god damn pepsi. Nine Men were hanging from a wooden wall built from broken pieces of wood that were lying around. They almost looked crucified in fact, however they were still alive just being stuck to the wall via metal cuffs.

They were unharmed for the most part, however they were more than unhappy. How could I have been captured!? Lotus: Deicy you're drooling again. Deicy: Oops! And in this small village away from civilization the Skrull were looking for something in the mountains.

As a large group of the Shapeshifters invaded the village taking out their finest warriors, a small scout group took to the mountain range checking every cave small and large until they eventually found it. Or more aptly. Him Frozen in ice was a man of fair muscular build with black spiky hair with a bright red sash around his waist slightly covering the white parachute pants he wore. All topped off with a gold necklace with a gem around his neck. This was the living myth, the Lege. But anyway- Deicy: It's time for two of the biggest daddies in all of fiction to get researched the fuck out of them before making them kill eachother.

Cause I have a headache and it's AM as I attempt to finish and post this.

So let's begin shall we? The vehicle in front of it was this trucks escort along a temporarily privatized path by a racing vehicle. It was slick, aerodynamic, and painted a lovely ocean blue. The escort was none other than Captain Falcon piloting his famous vehicle, the Blue Falcon. The Captain had been paid much more than what he would usually get for the average bounty, from what he understood the cargo is a very precious tank of specimens captured during an off planet exploration.

As bone was being slowly revealed in the process, blue flames began sparking to life in small amounts. The Rider immediately escaped the grasp of the large red hand coming from behind him, jumping away a fair distance. The figure was massive, easily dwarfing the Rider in size. There's always porn, never read the comments on Youtube, that Nigerian Prince isn't real, and there's probably an animal version of a character you like. Chazz: And sometimes those Animal Versions are actually canon entities. Pepsi: Today we have two examples of that duking out in violent and spectacular fashion.

Stuck inside of said cliff were all seven chaos emeralds. Chaos had all he needed to make a grand return, but he felt uneasy. Something was coming; a source of great power was on its way to this location. The mutated Chao began stretching out his arms to reach for the Chaos emeralds and absorb all of them, however he was blocked by something landing directly in front of him. The strange creature left a crater in the ground and was covered by a cloud of dust. As it cleared Chaos could make out this monsters appearance much more clearly.

He was tall, definitely taller then Chaos as he was now, he had a thick looking exoskeleton coating his muscular body. He seemed fairly similar to a bug, even had a pair of wings to complete the appea. Chazz: Holy shit did we get this out at a reasonable time?! Residente, "Descencuentro" dir. Residente, The end result is breathtakingly and unexpectedly lovely. The money spent shows up in the form of Rick Owens, Raf Simons and Supreme, but the swag is priceless.

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Madonna, "Hung Up" dir. Toby Keith, "Red Solo Cup" dir. Michael Salomon, Gotye feat. Natasha Pincus, Dua Lipa, "New Rules" dir. Henry Scholfield, Some new new rules: 1. Launch a thousand Pinterest boards with a beachy pastel color scheme and an enviable hotel slumber party. Take unlikely inspiration from the animal kingdom with head-bobbing choreography meant to evoke the fidgety movements of a pack of flamingos.

No, really! Embrace the storytelling power of repetition for a dance routine whose third-act twist still delights as much as it did the first time. Big Boi, "Tightrope" dir. Wendy Morgan, Sum 41, "Fat Lip" dir. Marc Klasfeld, For extra flat-sole kicks, check the hair-metal-homaging "Pain for Pleasure" outro that often played with "Fat Lip" on MTV, proving that adolescent rawk brattiness knows no generation gap.

Michel Gondry, But his greatest cinematic achievement may remain Kylie Minogue's four-lap trek around the streets of Paris, with Kylie and her universe's neighbors somehow layering on top of themselves each time she passes Go. Seldom has that ever been more clear than in the "O. Kesha, "Blow" dir. The grab-bag of high-art references makes this music video ripe for fan theories. Van Goghian sky swirls abound! V jumps off a balcony in front of a painting of the fallen Icarus! Amid this lavish portrait of BTS at the height of their game, one thing is clear: the septet makes K-pop for the thinking fan.

Ludacris feat. Shawnna, "Stand Up" dir.

Dave Meyers, The clip for Luda's first Billboard Hot No. A kiss from 'Cris makes a woman's ass expand to cartoonish size, after which Luda puts on a Sideshow Bob-sized sneaker to start stomping the dancefloor and bring the house down literally. Who knows! But when he moved in , we followed, just like that.

Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Californication" dir. Missy Elliott, "Gossip Folks" dir. Ludacris and Ms. Ciara, "Promise" dir. Diane Martel, Bat for Lashes, "What's a Girl to Do" dir. Dougal Wilson, According to a interview , Khan wanted the director to model the video after films like E. Robyn, "Call Your Girlfriend" dir. Max Vitali, Christina Aguilera, "Beautiful" dir. Bryan Barber, They twerk. They drink from red plastic cups. They turn hair dryers into props. Quick-cut edits and scene jumps give the video a playful, frenetic energy, while choreography and costume changes make it pro without being overly polished.

Justin Bieber, "Sorry" dir. Parris Goebel, Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX, "Fancy" dir. Director X, Roman White, Lana Del Rey, "National Anthem" dir. Anthony Mandler, Twenty-plus Harlemites in their baggy, earlys best rocking at canted angles away from the camera, arranged on courtyard steps -- this is a movement. This is what power looks like. Truly, did we dream this? Snoop Dogg feat. Paul Hunter, Orange Caramel, "My Copycat" dir. Digipedi, Drake feat. More than any of us Jewish kids would have ever dared daydream about during Hebrew School: the biggest rapper in the world documenting his own adult Bar Mitzvah, replete with the requisite torah reading, hora dancing, and ever so many popped bottles of Manischewitz.

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Did three-and-a-half minutes of Drake and Lil Wayne going HAM -- err, going smoked salmon -- on the former's special day do more to get kids to their local congregations on Saturday morning than every rabbinical sermon this century combined? Tierra Whack, "Whack World" dir. Thibaut Duverneix and Mathieu Leger, Carlos Vives, "La Tierra del Olvido" dir.

Carlos Vives, Johnny Cash, "Hurt" dir. Mark Romanek, With his Mt. JAY-Z, "99 Problems" dir. Luckily for us, Superman is still taking out rap villains for a living.

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Avril Lavigne, "Complicated" dir. The Malloys, The ties! The food court! Pusha T, "Runaway" dir. Kanye West, More short film than music video, the genius of "Runaway" comes from its stark simplicity, and the meaning seemingly imbued within it. After the solo repetitive piano note that opens the song summons a troupe of black-clad ballet dancers, West begins to deliver each line with an increasing look of urgency and desperation on his face, ultimately climbing on top of the white piano before giving way to Pusha T's verse and the dancers' graceful stoicism.

Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl" dir. This is prime Love. Nicki Minaj, "Anaconda" dir. Colin Tilley, Rihanna feat. JAY-Z, "Umbrella" dir. Chris Applebaum, Dixie Chicks, "Goodbye Earl" dir. Evan Bernard, It's a tale that highlights the power of the female bond, without making light of its serious subject matter.

Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters
Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters Death Can Dance Too: and Other Stories of Mayhem, Machines and Monsters

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